The word “Celibacy” defined by the dictionary as “a state of abstaining from marriage and sexual relations” has remained a mystery for me. As a young adult, during my days we could never talk about it as its antonym “Promiscuity” wouldn’t be far behind in the discussion, as oh my that “world of mine” would not hear the “P” of it. Wikipedia defines “Promiscuity – is the practice of having casual sex frequently with different partners or being indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners”. Glad, that today I have progressed enough to write on one of them, obviously mentioning the other.
Thinking of these two conditions is it purely on the physical level or it’s all in the mind?
Maybe, I consider that woman a celibate, who night after night gives in to her husband’s desire, with none left in her to look forward to; for her it is a mere physical act which she undergoes, to avoid xyz things of the life she shares with her husband and her family. Fear of her man becoming promiscuous, facing the brunt of the society that the wife was not able to satisfy him enough, that he started looking elsewhere – are one of the many reasons a woman endures such a relationship. Act after act, she remains celibate.
That again brings me to another fact that a man largely chooses to be celibate or promiscuous. For a woman? Yes the new generation girls are geared up and will choose their way. I am loving it. But, here I am talking of women of my generation, in their late forties, an average Indian woman. It is believed that if you are married, you are in a happy sexual relationship. If the society hears of your affairs (even a single one) you are promiscuous and labeled a slut; and the third respected soul – a happily celibate spinster. Yes, the aunt – your mother’s sister, your father’s sister…. any cousin sister if unmarried she is celibate. Period. Sometimes even in my forties, during discussions, if this celibate woman is present, I have seen ladies pointing out and stop talking about anything that an unmarried teenage girl shouldn’t be listening to. There is an overload of information in this area, and we Indians are still so immature. Understand that, even if she is a single and a virgin, she understands everything.
So who is to be labeled Celibate and Promiscuous? It’s all in the mind. Draupadi can be celibate with five husbands, and someone without any physical relations can be promiscuous, night after night having desirous dreams of the super hero, cricketer, an actor, a colleague or any handsome guy sighted in the near past.
And why sex alone – you can be celibate or promiscuous for all moral values, ethics and much much more. Yes, it’s all in the mind, there are no pros or cons of being celibate; it’s a personal choice, needed to be respected by one and all. Don’t analyze anyone’s choice and behavior, as it is the woman who only knows whether she’s celibate or promiscuous.