When we do not forgive ourselves or others, the mind is stuck in the past and cannot rest in peace. A mind that cannot forgive others probably seeks revenge and is thus agitated. And thus forgiveness is essential if we desire peace of mind.
Thinking elaborately on this subject –
Say two people A & B have hurt each other. Now A thinks in above direction and mentally tries to forgive and forget about the issue. Then say they meet after some time. A tries level best to be good, not bringing the past or even remembering it. A takes all the initiative to re-kindle the relationship and make it as before, But B is adamant not expecting A to be goody goody so he does not respond to A’s new warm feelings. After they part A would introspect that, see I have forgiven and forgotten, but still B is bitter towards me and not understanding my changed feeling. So again A is remembering the past, again trying that maybe I have not forgiven whole heartedly – again the cycle of forgive, forget, meet and again get cold vibes follows. After some 4-5 such cycles A is totally confused, gets totally depressed and then comes in the revenge mode, the next time he meets B – they have a huge fight even bigger that the one that started it off.
I feel that forgiveness has to be given and also accepted. Without acceptance of forgiveness, it is not of any use. It is a two way process.
From my Facebook post dated April 23, 2011